Do You Have One of The Dog Begging Types In Your Home?
It’s dinner time and you’ve just made an amazing dinner. Pork loins, wild rice, green beans all drizzled with your grandmothers special gravy. You have invited your girlfriends parents over for the first time and you’ve done your best to impress them with your best Chef Ramsey impersonation.
Your favorite wingman, your dog, is doing a fine job of keeping the amused in the living room. Performing tricks and smiling as they give him different commands. He enjoys the attention and you are afforded a few more moments to set up the table for these most special of dinner guests.
You set out the table placements and invite everyone into the kitchen. Everybody takes their places in front of your masterpiece and say a silent prayer. The prayer is almost complete when your wingman falls into his other favorite bit…. The canine beggar, followed by a long pleasing whine…. Oh boy not now.
Dog begging is a common problem for many a dog owner. The dog that takes his place at the dinner table and proceeds to do everything in his or her power to get a piece of whatever delectable item you have covered your plate with. Dog begging is a definite problem, but did you know there are several types of canine beggars?
The practice of dog begging has been perfected by some and the key is always annoying the owner into a point of giving in! The types of beggars are: The Sirens, The Excavator, The Pick Pocket, The Baby Sitter, and the Starer. Each Beggar is a tried and true performer that knows the best way to get their reward from dog begging.
Now the Siren dog begging believes the best way to beg is through sheer annoyance. To drive you to the point you cave. They generally take up a position by the dining table that will provide the best acoustics in the room. You begin to bite and right as you are beginning to enjoy your meal, someone cues the band. It may start with a low whine, then proceeds to a higher pitched whine with an added yip . If the whine aren’t working the Siren will go into a series of barks and yelps. If you are unfortunate to have a few sirens, then dinner will begin to be a full fledged concert. Sirens are generally created as pups when the big eyes of puppies work best with an accompanying lonely whine. The typical owner usually folds and gives into the puppy with a sliver of food . From that moment you have created your own mariachi section and brought the canine choir to every meal.
Is actually more of a treasure hunter when it comes to dog begging. This is the beggar that likes to find the food that escapes the plate and falls to the floor. This type of beggar isn’t truly annoying until it starts going under the table as you eat. Bumping into chair legs, human legs and snorting as it searches for the smallest of crumbs that may have bounced and found its way into the rug. A scratch or two here and there and a trail of drool as the excavator makes his rounds around the table in search of prizes and morsels that were obviously left for him. This type of beggar is not so bad if you own a couple Yorkshire Terriers, however an excavator who slightly larger, like say a Bull Mastiff will definitely tip the scales in favor of highly annoying.
The Pick Pocket
The Pick Pocket may actually be more of a Pocket Poker. This wonderful canine generally let’s you get midway into your meal before making his presence felt, literally. You will be just about to take your fifth bite of your cheeseburger when it happens. The equivalent of a canine pat down. A nose jabs you in the side, followed by serious sniffing. You will try to annoy the prod, and continue eating your food. The prod will come again and in more aggressive PP’s you may even get a taste if the nails as it scratches you for attention. The dog begging plan for the Pick Pocket is to physically annoy you to the point of being rewarded with a morsel or two. This form of begging is one of the most persistent and it truly takes a brave pooch to master the art and to gain a five or more pounds for its efforts.
The Baby Sitter
This pooch bypasses better food for a higher rate of success. After all adults are harder prey and their anger can be aroused quicker and more decisively. The Baby Sitter is looking for humans under the age of 10 and preferably at the end of a table, with a large overhang. This allows the baby sitter a chance to perform its job without being seen, or at least under cover from the wrath of the parents of the feeding baby. Generally the dog begging plan is to weight for the child to taste every bit of food, and find something that it doesn’t like. This is often something green and mushy. The baby sitter rarely finds the child who dislikes bacon, but occasionally. The kid trap is silent and only physical contact is the occasional lick to the child’s hand to remind the kid that the baby sitter is underneath waiting. If you go younger, you are guaranteed a meal as there is not a child in the world under three who can keep their food on their plate or table.
The last beggar is perhaps the most skilled, the Starer. The Starer has to be a dog of incredible focus for dog begging. It takes years to master the art and create a look that challenges the humans nerves. It’s purpose is to make the victim uncomfortable under the gaze and fling food away from the table just to avert the state .
The stare can’t be aggressive, but it can’t be timid either. This type of dog begging is a form of mind control and mind control is challenging for a dog. The gaze works on the master rarely so you have to choose your victim carefully. A visitors or rarely seen relative works best. A proven Starer can achieve steaks, ribs, chicken or any other protein based food with a good stare. Some have mastered a stare so potent that they can stare from inside of a crate and be awarded scraps of food!
Dog begging is tough to deal with because as the owners lose weight a workout plan may become in order for the most successful beggars. Dinner dates with in laws may require putting the dog outside during meals. Now what to do about that damn cat!